Friends or Foes?

Hey y'all, it's your girl Flower. Your average sister from the boogie down. And I'm here to give you my 2 cents on the current and popular questions, events, and social drama that we all can't seem to avoid.

The weather is getting nicer. Still cold but the sun is starting to peek out a bit more often now. Setting a little slower. Spring, my favorite season, is just about here and it's feeling like a breath of fresh air. I don't know if anyone else practices spring cleaning every year but cleaning always been quite therapeutic for me. The act of rearranging and reorganizing. Going through your closet to make room for a new wardrobe. The whole shabang of it all plus the satisfaction gained from actually getting it done is refreshing. But your bedroom isn't the only thing in your life that needs a makeover.

A new moon has passed which was the time to set new intentions for the next couple of weeks. This new moon is in the water sign of Pisces, so it's important you use this energy to create boundaries. Because Pisces tend to be more on the emotional side of the zodiacs, it's easy to feel overlooked. Focusing on how you can balance your self and your selflessness can be a great way to dismiss that feeling and come more into your assertive but compassionate nature. Also, Pisces is the final sign of the zodiacs which technically means another New Year. Well, astrologically of course.  With the appearance of the spring equinox--the day where the hours of daylight and no daylight are equal--just around the corner, the idea of starting over becomes more prominent. 

It's sort of like a double resolution. You know, Where you start to really buckle down on this new personality you want to embody with a change to your environment. And environment doesn't have to be limited to scenery. Of course being in a new space experiencing new people and picking up new habits is always going to be essential to elevating your every day life. I mean, if the only supermarkets near you are nutritious ones like Whole Foods and Trader Joe's, then your diet is eventually going to change. But I was referring to people, I'm sure ya'll already caught that though. Environment can also mean who you hang around. What type of people your friends are and what type of personalities you attract. The more you're around individuals that don't align with your growth, the more your growth will be stunted. 

I know it's easier said than done. Who is really ready to admit that over time you tend to outgrow the friends you've known your whole lives? That sometimes in the end, you really don't know a person the way you think you do, and you have to break a bond that has brought you comfort for as long as you can remember? Romantic break-ups hurt yes, but a break-up with a friend who's been there through it all takes the cake. I've had a number of fallouts with people and none of them were gentle on the heart. I began to have thoughts like "Maybe it's me, maybe I'm the one who's a bad friend." But often times, everyone's journey just doesn't involve you. As much as you want to believe your rank in their life is somewhere on a higher level, there could be no rank at all. I'll give an example...

I had a friend whom I considered to be my best friend in high school. We started getting closer towards my sophomore year and were inseparable ever since. Sleepovers, parties, getting into trouble together, the whole nine. But it wasn't until towards the end of our senior year where I noticed a distance in our relationship. Speaking and seeing her less. And although we were attached at the hip majority of the time, we moved at different paces. When it came time to graduate I was the only one and asking her to watch me walk seemed like too much for her, so she refused to come. I decided to forgive her because she's my best friend, I understand how much that shot to her ego would've stung if she did show up. I never forgot it though and when my birthday came around a month later the memory became so much more clearer. She had completely ghosted me. She ignored my every message and I didn't understand why. On my birthday I learned that my close friend wasn't really my friend at all, the place I thought I held in her life weighed a feather. After days of reaching out and attempting to figure out why she felt the need to cut me off, I gave up. I replayed our friendship over and over trying to find where the direction changed but I came up short every time. So I accepted it for what it was knowing that even though it bothered me I never found out her reasoning, I was a good friend to her and she wasn't taking that away from me.

I told myself that her choices shouldn't make me question my character because you can only do your part. Meaning there's only so much you can do to prove your worth to someone who refuses to see it. Could we have talked out our issues? Of course. But I will not over exert my energy to someone who can't or just doesn't want to reciprocate. That's where those boundaries come in, ones like those to make sure you pour into yourself as well. Facing those type of boundaries is as difficult as losing the person you're placing them on, but the results could leave you feeling either full or empty. Don't worry, I question my capability of actually standing on business too and sometimes my loneliness makes me fold like a pair of jeans. My peace is worth it though and so is yours. Keep that in mind the next time you ignore your gut feeling on a relationship, platonic or romantic, that you feel like "you can't live without." News flash sweetie, you can. 

Until we meet again y'all,

With love

Flower :)