The Beef with Resolutions

Hey y'all, it's your girl Flower. Your average sister from the boogie down. And I'm here to give you my 2 cents on the current and popular questions, events, and social drama that we all can't seem to avoid. 

It's the year of 2024, a new year, meaning new people and new issues. I'm sure many of you have started to "new year's resolution" yourself to death. Waiting 20 minutes for the guy next to you to stop using the machine you need because gyms are so packed. All the veggies and the salad bags are damn near gone because of the diets people are starting. You even decided to finally block "Mr. Don't Answer" because he no longer serves who you want to be. I know that a good percentage of the population think that resolutions are bullshit, and that you should act on your self in the present moment. I used to be part of that percentage. But with a little more of an optimistic perspective I've learned to look at it as rebranding. 

The new year is made to feel like a fresh start. Where the year that soon leaves at the witching's hour [midnight] becomes something of the past, whether it was a joyous one or one you couldn't wait to be over. Those events are memories now, and it's time to make new ones. Become the version of yourself you thought wouldn't be attainable. I think the beef with new year's resolutions are when they become simply just that, a new year's resolution. Instead of making it a lifestyle, it's a decision we stick with for a couple months until we toss discipline over our shoulder and indulge in the habits we were determined to quit. I'd say we're all addicts, but I might ruffle a few feathers so let me rephrase that. We all have vices that our body and mind are codependent on. That could be substances, a person, even comfortability can be a drug. And it's not easy to kick it to the side and never look at it again. But you can't preach a word you ain't practicing. 

I had a long conversation with my best friend a few days ago. What started out as a regular catch up turned into a deep venting session I'm sure you're all familiar with. We mentioned past relationships and traumas, lessons we learned from them and how we plan on applying them. I remember saying to her,

"I think once I get in the career field I want then life will be bliss for me."

and she hit me with a familiar message I'm still trying to get the hang of. She began to tell me how she saw a person on tiktok expressing how they believe people are just waiting on their happiness to fall into their lap. How we often use the phrases "Once I", "When I", and "If I" so much we've trained our mind to wait for an outcome that can take forever to happen. To me, happiness is an illusion because it's so subjective. We set certain circumstances on our goals to validate them when we should be making light out of the cards we were drawn. Life is all about perspective, and if our view of it is through a negative lens, then how do you think our brains are going to react? Simple science. Same thing with Karma, manifestations, and anything else that requires putting out the energy you want to receive. 

I began to think about all the times I just refused to see the silver lining in things. I thought my job sucked but there are people who don't have one. My apartment is the size of a  shoebox but there are people literally sleeping in one. I mean, Palestinians don't even have the luxury of complaining at this very moment. Generations of their kind are being killed each day while I nag about standing on my feet 8 hours out of my day. It may sound cliche and this may have gotten deeper than expected but... it's true. 

We are our biggest critics. People, especially my generation, have a hard time showing compassion towards ourselves. There are many situations we can't control of course, but the ones we can and choose not to are what gets us down the most. I'm a professional procrastinator so you know I know. But I think my resolution for the new year is giving myself grace in everything I do. Accepting what I can't control and taking charge of what I can. My point behind all of this is, you can rebrand as many times as your heart desires. It's never too late to become someone new, but there's a difference between evolving and avoiding. If you want something, a career, a person, a new car, make sure you show up for yourself because you only have yourself to impress. 

With love y'all

Flower :)